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You don't need a priest to tell God you're sorry for your sins, right? You believe that God loves you. You believe that God forgives you. You can manage forgiveness with God alone. Besides, you've had some bad experiences with confession, right? Your stomach gets tight just thinking about them. One priest treated you poorly. He made you feel worse than you already felt. Another priest has lost your respect. You're so conscious of his sins that you couldn't bear telling him yours. The whole idea of confessing sins needs work anyway, right? It's bad enough admitting to yourself that you've failed. Why make it worse saying it out loud to somebody else? Kids, though, you figure it's OK for them, right? After all, kids commit a lot of sins. They should tell them to somebody so they realize how bad they are. But adults are different. Adults shouldn't have to confess their sins to anybody. Unless, of course, they mess up really bad, right? If they've hurt somebody they should apologize. You know what it's like when someone hurts you, don't you? You've imagined hundreds of times the words that person should say to you. And when they don't, it just makes you more and more angry. Other people should say they're sorry more often. « If you think you don't need confession, I have news for you. You may be right. The church only requires confession of those in serious sin, and for children preparing for first communion. So, if you're basically living a good Catholic life, striving to do good and avoid evil, slipping from time to time, but doing your best, you're right. You probably don't have to tell your sins to a priest. Here's canon 988/1 from the main book of Catholic do's and don'ts, The Code of Canon Law: "A member of the Christian faithful is obliged to confess in kind and in number all serious sins committed after baptism and not yet directly remitted through the keys of the Church nor acknowledged in individual confession, of which one is conscious after diligent examination of conscience." What about Easter duty? Aren't you supposed to go to confession every year before Easter? Not exactly. Here's canon 989: "After having attained the age of discretion, each of the faithful is bound by an obligation faithfully to confess serious sins at least once a year." Serious sins. That's the key expression. What are those? Good question. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says of mortal sin (#1855), that it destroys charity in the human heart by a grave violation of God's law; it turns us away from God, by preferring an inferior good. Three factors constitute mortal sin: grave matter, full knowledge, and complete consent. In other words, the sin under scrutiny has to be serious. You must have full knowledge of it. You must give it your complete consent. Did you reuse an uncanceled stamp and cheat the post office out of 32 cents? Not grave matter. Did you cooperate in a drug deal because a friend lied to you about the contents of the package you were delivering? You didn't have full knowledge. Did a pornographic image appear on your television while you were channel surfing? You didn't give full consent. Some actions are always wrong. Vatican II listed a series of crimes against human persons: Offenses against life, such as murder, genocide, abortion, euthanasia and willful suicide; violations of integrity, such as mutilation, physical and mental torture, undue psychological pressures; offenses against human dignity, such as subhuman living conditions, arbitrary imprisonment, deportation, slavery, prostitution, the selling of women and children, degrading working conditions where people are treated as mere tools for profit rather than free and responsible persons--all these and the like hurt the offender more than the offended and dishonor the work of God (Gaudium et Spes, 27). So, you may be right. You're not guilty of serious sin? Maybe you don't really have to go to a priest to have your sins forgiven. « BUT, canon 988/2 says, "It is to be recommended to the Christian faithful that venial sins also be confessed." Do you have to go to confession? Well, do you have to brush your teeth? Do you have to go in for a checkup? Do you have to exercise? Do you have to eat properly? Do you have to balance your checkbook? Do you have to ask advice before making a big decision? No, you don't have to. But what motivates your life? Is it duty? Or is it love? Do you do the minimum you have to do? Or the maximum you can do? If you won't take care of yourself for your own sake, will you do it for the sake of someone you love? The sacrament of reconciliation offers you a chance to grow. It takes your private experience of confessing sins to God and gives it public significance. It allows you to speak out loud your sorrow for sin, and to hear out loud the words of forgiveness. It permits you to act out your contrition, and to witness reconciliation. Your priest is not perfect. When you sit before him, you both know that he's a sinner too. But he has a job to do. We designate him to speak to you the forgiveness of God. He shuttles your prayers to God and mediates God's presence to you. Maybe saying your sins out loud to him makes you feel humiliated, but the church's intent is to make you feel loved. This lent your parish will offer you several occasions to celebrate reconciliation. You can be anonymous. You can visit your priest face to face. You can attend a communal penance service. You can make an appointment to confess your sins. Since God is anxious to make forgiveness public, your priest will create many opportunities for it to happen. What will you create? Time? Or excuses? [Published in the Catholic Key for the 1st Sunday in Lent - 2/16/97] |
