Q. “We have a woman in RCIA with her daughter (who is 18 and not baptized). The daughter decided to become catholic and so the mother is supporting her by coming to classes with her. The mother is a baptized catholic but was never confirmed. She lives with the man with whom she has 4 children including the daughter who decided to become catholic. They were never married. Now the mother wants to come back to the catholic church with her daughter at Easter vigil. My question is can I confirm her at Easter? Can she be confirmed by the Bishop when he does the Confirmation at the parish in May? If she can be confirmed, can she receive Communion? And about her living conditions, what can I advise her? I think the man is not interested in the faith or the church or marriage and they have a very happy life.”
A. In my parish, when I have a couple living together without marriage requesting sacraments (and we have lots of these), I ask for a pastoral visit with the couple. When they’re in my office, I ask for an explanation about why they are not married. I explain the beauty and importance of marriage in our church. And I ask if they’d consider marriage. I tell them I do not want to force anyone to get married, but if I can help them, I’d like to.
I would probably not request confirmation of the woman until the marriage situation was resolved. Same with offering communion.