Q: After reading your book: “Be Renewed. A Guide to the Sacrament of Reconciliation”, I have some concerns. On page 39, it says that “The Order of Penance says both that the priest imposes a penance (18) and proposes a penance (44). The discrepancy suggests some lack of clarity. Does the priest decide on the penance alone, or does the penitent get to approve it? If the work assigned seems too difficult, the penitent would do well to inform the priest and request something else.”
My first concern is this: Is the penance negotiable?
My second concern is about the traditional penance of asking the penitent to recite ten “Our Father” and ten “Hail Mary.” May I know from where does it come? I can’t find any liturgical book where it is explicitly mentioned, whereas many priests are still using it.
My third concern is related to this second. Is it fair for somebody who confesses that he has stolen something, or is not talking to somebody else, to give him or her the penance of reciting ten Our Father and ten Hail Mary? What will be the impact of this penance on the broken relationship. If ever I am going to ask the person to go and return what he or she has stolen, or to go and reconcile with the person to whom he or she is not talking to, do we have to negotiate that?
Thank you Father and sorry for my long concern.
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A: I almost always ask the penitent if they agree to the penance. They almost all say yes, but I occasionally uncover some difficulty I didn’t expect. I adjust the penance.
I don’t know where the tradition of ten prayers comes from, but the Order of Penance shows no interest in it at all. No. 18 of the Order of Penance says this about the penance / satisfaction: “This should not only make up for the past, but also be a help towards a new life and a remedy for weakness, and thus, as far as possible, should correspond to the gravity and nature of the sins. Satisfaction (an act of penance) may suitably be performed by prayer, by self-denial, and especially by service of one’s neighbor and by works of mercy, which illustrate that sin and its forgiveness have a social aspect.”